7 Sins of Dating – Sloth

©June 2011 by Fabienne Lopez

Sloth is the dating sin of not actively looking for men to date. After covering Pride, we are now turn to Sloth.

Sloth is defined as spiritual and/or actual laziness. The definition encompasses, however, more than mere idleness to include also apathy.

Apathy can kill your chances of finding Mr. Right.

How does this sin manifest in dating?

The Moon, ruled by Cancer, is the planet associated with the dating sin of slothFirst, you are ‘too busy’ for love. You always relegate searching for a potential partner as the last thing to get around doing, at the bottom of every “urgent” task in the to-do list.

In other words, you lack a pro-active mentality.

You put off meeting new people regularly, do so partially or not at all. You want to improve your love life, but restrain yourself to daydreaming, browsing profiles on Facebook, checking out dating sites, and, in general, refuse to spend enough time seeking out potential relationships.

You don’t systematically look for men to date.

Apathy is the normal response when you need to dedicate the necessary effort to obtain better results. You avoid stretching out of your comfort zone. The natural shyness of Cancer adds to the reluctance to expand the scope of acquaintances.

In astrology, Sloth is associated with the Moon, ruled by Cancer.

You display, in this regard, one of the negative traits of this sign. Cancerians can be clannish and stick to their family and demonstrate a reluctance to widen their circle of friends. In fact, one of the strongest drives of these natives is the urge for security, for what is comforting. Beneath this penchant for sticking to the familiar, lies a sensitive soul, afraid of being hurt. Long after the fact, they remember each man who seemed to be Mr. Perfect and turned out to be Mr. Wrong. The memory is enough to make them retreat into their shell and avoid a possible repeat of this experience; hence, the laziness serves as a defense line when it comes to dating.

How do you overcome this complacency? You change your attitude. Finding love becomes a priority—one that takes precedence over any other activity.

To use the analogy of a work-out: you go to the gym to get a workout. Same thing with dating: make yourself available and date a variety of men; eventually you’re more likely to find someone compatible to be happy with.

However to achieve this goal, you have to believe you deserve a felicitous relationship. Do you?

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Photos Credits: Flickr Creative Commons

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About Fabienne Lopez

Astrologer, Blogger, Life-Coach. My mission is to help you discover, develop and nurture your creativity no matter what transit you are going through.
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10 Responses to 7 Sins of Dating – Sloth

  1. Pingback: 7 Sins of Dating – Sloth » AstroDispatch.com » Astrology Around The Web

  2. Debbie says:

    Definitely a sloth. :-)

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      How so? Do you want to date and don’t look for ones or you are not in the mind frame of finding someone?

  3. Debbie says:

    Oh I definitely would like to find someone. I am a Libra after all. :-) However, in the last few years I don’t put finding someone above anything else. Lazy or just burned out – not sure which. Plus, in all honesty, I am not sure if it is just that I am over 40 now or I project something, but I don’t attract men.
    I used to, but I have been in my current location now for two years without one single date. Oh, with the exception of a few unsuccessful match.com dates. However, for the most part my profile on match.com got very few hits. I had many people review it to see if I was missing something that was putting men off – those who reviewed it thought it was great. Anywhooo……….I feel I identify with the sloth at this stage of my life.

    In addition, I found this statement very accurate.
    “Long after the fact, they remember each man who seemed to be Mr. Perfect and turned out to be Mr. Wrong. The memory is enough to make them retreat into their shell and avoid a possible repeat of this experience; hence, the laziness serves as a defense line when it comes to dating.”

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      I don’t know if this will help but I would like to point out that Saturn has been in your sign for the last couple of years! Not only it has touched your sun and any other planets you might have in Libra, but it has also a “drying effect” in general. I would guess things will get moving once Saturn changes signs.

      • Debbie says:

        That does help. I do keep hearing that things will shift in a year. I am ready!! I only have my sun in Libra, which squares my rising though – Cap.

        Thanks! :-)

  4. Vagabondage says:

    How apropos is this post! Libra sun here with moon in cancer flanked by cap rising. I casually study the I Ching. Yesterday I conducted an oracle for romantic prospects over the next year of SUBSTANCE. The response that I received was “stagnation”. Then I got chastised for what I presume to be asking questions of similar ilk too often, as if the Universe already knows that any attempt that I make is futile. And seemingly it really is. I’m 26 years old have never had a legimate mate ad every time I get to thinking that maybe I’ll at least get to “date” this one (much less anything concerning a commitment), some “unforseen” circumstance “randomly” pops up, and I’m left in the cold. Again. I alternate between putting my neck out there and drawing back in. I’m just tired of getting it cut off. There are other issues aside for the laziness. I suspect I have some inauspicious karma regarding relationships (venus, saturn, south node in scorpio.) It’s so peculiar that even my friends have had to start taking me seriously. I have conceded to the likely reality that I’ll spend a great deal of my life single, and most days I’m okay with that. I’m learning to cease with the complaining and use it as means to further my growth and my independence. It’s just difficult when it seems to much easiter for many others, where or not it actually belies the truth. I’m an American currently living in S. Korea. I’ve seen men come here and have a “girlfriend” (her validity is always debatable) within a matter of weeks. And it’s supposed to be so much harder for us girls, and yet many of them have boyfriends. I can’t get a man to call me back. I’ve learned to hide the “crazy”, so it suggests to me that it’s something much more subtle and insidious.

    Sorry for the long post! Misery loves company, I suppose.

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      Hi Vagabondage:
      Welcome and thank you for taking the time to comment. After reading your comment, I would like to point a couple of things:
      1) Saturn – the principle of limitations is in Libra until October of next year. Depending on the degree of your sun, it affecting your sun and any other planets you have in Libra. Things should move once Saturn enters Scorpio in late 2012.
      2) According to what you said, you have a Saturn/Venus conjunction. This is a difficult aspect to manage in your chart. It takes time to learn how to deal with it. A very good book about Saturn is “A New Look at an Old Devil” by Liz Greene. She has very good section on Saturn and Venus. Another good reading about Venus is Dana Gerhardt from MoonCircles.com. Both authors will help you better understand your Venus and what you are looking for in a relationship.
      3) I have noticed often times significant relationships do not happen before our Saturn return around the age of 28-30, which will happen for you when Saturn goes into Scorpio.
      Hope this helps.

  5. Paz says:

    L.M.A.O. Sun, Mercury, and 2 other objects in Cancer and I am sadly very guilty of this. Haven’t had an active relationship or have even met anyone new in almost 3 years. I keep saying its because “there’s no opportunity” and “I live in a different state” but I think I’m just afraid to go out of my way again because I’m jaded. I’m over past loves, but I don’t want to repeat those same experiences. Plus sometimes I need adequate time to myself and I’m not sure I’d be able to get that if I had a significant other again. I also just don’t *date* for the sake of dating, despite having a Gemini Venus. Its just wayyyy too impersonal for me, to make obligations to people I have no attachment to.

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      Hi Paz:

      Yes, I can relate to sloth also. I don’t actively date either. Just not interested. Dating for the sake of dating does not make sense to me either.

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