© February 2011 By Fabienne Lopez
Saturn and Moon
Yesterday, I kicked off a new Saturn in Libra series dedicated to couples and their most common problems from a synastry point of view. I started with Sun and Saturn and the balance between fun and responsibility, individuality and couple hood.
Today, the focus is on Moon and Saturn and how couple deal with beliefs around happiness versus dependency and clinginess.
How is the emotional health of your relationship?
Is nagging a constant?
Is opening up emotionally a struggle?
Do you feel isolated, misunderstood or blocked when you try to get close to your partner?
Do accusations of “feeling too much” fly around? Of being to needy or too dependent?
Are you afraid of expressing your emotions?
If the questions above sound familiar, the transit of Saturn in Libra until October 2012 will have you working on re-establishing the emotional health in your relationship.
Moon Saturn inter-aspects: How close to you can I be?
A difficult Saturn Moon aspect between partners can often be felt by the moon person as a limitation on how much emotion they can express. There is a subtle understanding between partners to censor any feelings of dependency or, at least, to tone down any spontaneous expression of affection.
The result is a certain stiffness and/or formality in the relationship. The moon person feels constrained and unable to express the “child” within, due to some real or imagined belief that the other person will not approve, not understand or might be incapable of handling these so called “immature” or “frivolous” feelings.
The Saturn person, on the other hand, is worried about maintaining the seriousness of his commitment to the relationship. Anything that threatens this need is considered inappropriate and therefore discarded.
What ends up happening is a merry-go-round situation. The moon person upon “hearing” the criticism from her partner withdraws into a shell and avoids offering advice and/or support. And starts acting tight-lipped around her emotions.
Conversely, the Saturn person feels challenged by the partner’s emotional response and withdraws too, while demanding the moon person to “grow up”.
The end result is a lack of emotional intimacy. At the same time, there is a need to stick with the relationship since it provides both partners with the sense of security that attracted them in the first place. A see-saw between emotional and security dependency sustained by a belief that a home-life cannot be truly achieved.
Balancing the teeter-totter pendulum
One approach to develop emotional connection between the two of you is to realize that each of you needs what the other one has (Moon = feelings. Saturn = security). Without your partner it’s much like sitting all alone on one end of a teeter-totter.
The two of you can learn much from each other. Saturn needs help loosening up his fear that he is going to be hurt or that he is unworthy of love. Moon can use Saturn’s maturity to grow emotionally.
So instead of having Saturn + Moon = limits on emotions, you have Saturn + Moon = solid foundation for nurturing.
What tests did your relationship undergo with Saturn? How did you manage to grow emotionally? When did you know that relationship was for REAL? Share your stories here.
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