The 7 Most Common Relationship Problems: “I” vs.“Us”

© February 2011 By Fabienne Lopez

7 most common mistakes in relationshipsSaturn in Libra: A couple’s complete health check up

In an earlier series – Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – (Part I, Part II, Part III and Part IV), I talked about the negative patterns that show over and over in our relationships from an individual point of view, i.e., what we do in our relationships to sabotage it.

In this new series, I want to focus on couples and the most common negative behaviors that can affect a committed couple.

Let’s be honest sometimes relationships are pure joy – basking  in the exciting and energizing thrill on knowing you are in love with the right person. Other times, the growing pains of relationships can be discouraging and you keep asking yourself “why am I in this relationship?”

Until October 2012, that’s the question Saturn is asking of couples. Saturn the planet of limitations, hard work, frustration and hard-earned lessons wants everyone in a relationship to do a health check and see if they are sabotaging their chances of happy ever after.

I will focus on the synastry aspects between Saturn and the traditional planets  and how the difficult inter-chart aspects translate into the top 7 most common challenges couples struggle with.

Below the synastry aspect and the corresponding relationship difficulty in my opinion:

Sun/Saturn: “I” versus “Us”

Moon/Saturn: Clinging and Dependency

Venus/Saturn: Intimacy Issues

Mercury/Saturn: Losing communication

Mars/Saturn: Anger, Sex & Jealousy

Jupiter/Saturn: Differences in Lifestyles & Philosophy

Saturn/Saturn: Fear of Commitment

sun/saturn synastry

Picture by Meganne Forbes

The most common Sun and Saturn problem: “I” versus “Us”

Let’s start with Sun/Saturn and review the ways this inter-chart aspect can get in the way of a couple’s happiness.

Are you making too many demands on each other to be a certain way?  What attracted you to the other person in the first place, now irks you?

Are you asking your partner to be more serious, responsible and mature. Or is he/she complaining that he/she should loosen up and have some fun?

Does the relationship feel like all duty, obligations and responsibilities and no down time?

There is no space for spontaneity and “me” time in your relationship?

Does your partner feels like she/he is too serious, creating therefore a sense of heaviness that in turns makes you feel inhibited?

Do you feel like there is no time for personal goals because of the demands of the relationships?

Have you or your partner fall into the role of parent, teacher or taskmaster?

I vs. Us in relaitonshipsThe right balance

Reactions to these statements can vary depending who in the couple carries the sun and who embodies Saturn.  The sun probably feels blocked, frustrated, resentful and angry.

Meanwhile, the Saturn partner might feel surprised and accuse the sun to be too sensitive and focusing only on having fun while eschewing his/hers responsibilities.

Ignoring the problem won’t help. What Saturn in Libra wants is for you to strike a balance between fun and obligations, me time and us time, individual goals and common ones.

The goal for the couple is to find a way for the relationship to develop maturity and stability that allows room for individuality without being too conservative and cautious or confined and restrictive.

What has been your experience with the Saturn/Saturn synastry in your own relationships? Cold? Restrictive? Or did helped each other mature and become better individuals? Share your experience!

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Photos Credits: Flickr Creative Commons

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About Fabienne Lopez

Astrologer, Blogger, Life-Coach. My mission is to help you discover, develop and nurture your creativity no matter what transit you are going through.
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