Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part II

© January 2011 by Fabienne Lopez

This is post 2 of a 4 part series that will examine the dark side of relationships and how Saturn in Libra bringing them out in the open. After looking at the concept of shadow in relationships, we now turn to the idea of projections in relationships.

Saturn in Libra and the uphill battle of relationships

It’s Them not Me!

Today, we are having a look at projections.  In psychological terms, it is defined as parts of ourselves we disown. Usually it is a quality or a characteristic that we do not recognize in ourselves but can very easily spot on others.

In lay terms, projections are the famous  “Why does he keeps doing that…s/he knows how much I hate it!” It always him, them, not me. Never me!

They are the people to whom we have a strong emotional reaction to. We get hooked by what they are seemingly doing. Our buttons get pushed. We get irritated by them.

The projection can be either a negative or a positive reaction. I have had occasions in my life when I have become “fascinated” with my friends for their ability to become the life of the party, to have a busy social life and, in general, be the center of attention. All things I am uncomfortable with and have very conflicting feelings about.

Conversely, I also have had plenty of encounters with people whom I have “hated” and “could not stand”.

In both cases, I was very categorical in my judgment that “I could never be like that…”

It's him, not me!What it looks like in real life

I recently experienced this. A woman I met a couple of times provoked a strong emotional in me. Each time, I felt my hackles rise. It’s nothing she did, on the contrary, she was courteous to me. But I could not stand her. I kept asking myself  “What is it about  her  I can’t stand, that is so unacceptable to me?”. I could not come up with an answer. Whatever it was, it is something that actually resides inside of me. Something that I don’t want to believe or accept about myself.

Each time my buttons get pushed, I know I am projecting. That said, I am not always able to trace back why his or hers traits disturb me so much. I, however, pay close attention to the emotions generated by the encounter.  I go beyond the obvious ones (irritation, fascination, confusion) to the juicy ones, the ones that are more elusive and hard to pinpoint immediately (guilt, envy, anger).

Since Saturn has entered Libra, I have come to slowly realized that  my over-emotional reactions  are tied to my feelings of guilt about my   feelings . I project my feelings into other people when I do not take a stand and express them honestly.

I noticed the number of people showing up as “hooks” for my projected feelings has diminished as I have become emotionally more assertive.  They are still some, but the quality or characteristic that they are expressing is not so extreme and my emotions do not get so involved. It seems that now that I am spotting these “hooks”, I am owning those projections.

How about you? Have you had an experience where you “hated” or “adored” someone and they provoked intense emotional reactions in you? Share your thoughts and stories. What has Saturn in Libra been teaching you about those emotions?

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About Fabienne Lopez

Astrologer, Blogger, Life-Coach. My mission is to help you discover, develop and nurture your creativity no matter what transit you are going through.
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9 Responses to Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part II

  1. Pingback: Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part III | Astrology {Unboxed} - Creative Astrology for a Life Outside the Box

  2. Debbie says:

    Yes, both. I have a serious hook at work. I get an e-mail or this man walks in I can’t stand him! My stomach curdles. I know I am projecting something, but he is a bully and control freak. Things that I am not. I would never treat people the way he does. Still working why such an emotional reaction.

    The positive – watching a lot of people following their bliss – starting their own businesses. Experiencing envy because I can’t seem to locate my bliss – feel very stuck!
    Saturn transiting my 9th house – Natal Libra Sun. Also, alot of activity in my 3rd house with all the recent transits.

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      Hey Debbie:

      As I was reading your comment, it came across my mind that sometimes, it is not what we are projecting, but whom that persons reminds us of. It’s another way we have our buttons pushed. Just a thought, as it seems you are doing your Saturn work.

  3. katley says:

    one of my favorite mantras is “I’m OK, you suck!” This especially applies to people who push my buttons the wrong way :) Picky and obnoxious people are one of my pet peeves.

  4. katley says:

    one of my favorite mantras is “I’m OK, you suck!” This especially applies to people who push my buttons the wrong way :) Picky and obnoxious people are some of my pet peeves.

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      Not a bad mantra, but I would take out the negative energy at the end of it. It’s feeding back the people who pushes your buttons. At least that’s my opinion.

  5. Debbie says:

    Thanks Fabienne. Yeah, I have to ponder it. All I know my hackles go up when I feel I am being powered over. My Aquarius moon? :-)

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      It could be your Aquarius Moon, but also your Pluto and what it is doing with the rest of your chart. Throw in some Saturn on how you deal with authority and structures.

  6. Debbie says:

    Ah, good to know. Natal Pluto Virgo 8th – transiting the 12th which is interesting as A LOT of stuff is getting surfaced at work. Natal Saturn Aries. :-)

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