Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part I

©January 2011 by Fabienne Lopez

This post is the first of a 4 part series that will examine the dark side of relationships and how Saturn in Libra bringing them out in the open. We start with the concept of Shadows in relationships.

saturn in libra relationships

Saturn conquered by Amor

The Negative Aspects of Saturn in Libra

Astrology tells us that Saturn makes us work hard for what we want  through frustration, delays, set-backs and self-denial.  It also tells us that Saturn exerts the most influence and power in Libra. Libra being the natural ruler of the 7th house of relationships, it stands that until October of 2012, Saturn will be showing us what we need to work on our relationships for them to be healthy.

However, before we become better at relationships, we need to confront the negative sides of relationships.

What are the negative sides of relationships? What are the negative patterns that show up over and over in our relationships?

Zodiac sign Libra

Libra and having balanced relationships

Four basic negatives sides:

1)  Shadow Dancing (a term coined by astrologer Edwin Steinbrecher) that describes the repetitive patterns we go through in our relationships. With Saturn in Libra we tend to find/date/marry exact replicas of our shadows (the things we have decided are “not me”).

2)  Projection or blaming others for the feelings we do not want to acknowledge. With Saturn in Libra, we will encounter more frequently people able to irritate us and push our buttons.

3)  Clinging to failed relationships. With Saturn in Libra, many relationships that are based on false pretenses will be exposed and will most likely break-up. However, many of us will cling to those same relationships in order to avoid the fear of repeating the pain of previous relationships.

4)  The Nice Girl Syndrome or how women do not put themselves first in relationships while trying to please everybody at the same time. With Saturn in Libra, we will have to take a good look at what is at the root of this behavior.

The Shadow

I will start with shadow dancing. We all have been there. Why do I attract only ….fill the blanks? Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes in my relationships? Why do I only fall in love with…fill the blanks?

I certainly repeated the same relationships patterns in my 20’s and if am honest with myself, in my 30’s and 40’s in some form or other.  The same kind of person kept showing up as my boss, as my boyfriend no matter how many times I left the relationship or changed jobs.

I took me nearly two decades to take a close hard look at what I was doing in my relationships and why I was doing it.

Taking Responsibility for My Life

The first thing I did to break the patterns was to take responsibility for my side of the relationship. I took time, effort, but eventually I stopped blaming others and myself for the failure of those relationships. I stopped asking why this was happening to me and instead started asking myself what was I gaining by perpetuating the situation.  This is when I was able to understand my feelings of anger, sadness, resentment and disappointment in regards to my past relationships.

It was and still is an uncomfortable process. After all, I am not particularly thrilled to see those nasty sides of me come to light. Now I can deal not only with these negative feelings and the guilt involved in having them, but I have learned that it is OK to express those same feelings.

That has been my first lesson from Saturn in Libra.

What about you? What have your learned from your relationships since Saturn has entered Libra?

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About Fabienne Lopez

Astrologer, Blogger, Life-Coach. My mission is to help you discover, develop and nurture your creativity no matter what transit you are going through.
This entry was posted in Astrology, Relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part I

  1. dorchid says:

    Saturn is transiting my 11th house. it hit my mercury at 0 degrees Libra.

    #3 is definitely true for me.

    Saturn has shown me that I was losing way more than what I was gaining from my relationship. It’s also making clear to me what I am willing and am NOT willing to compromise. I now know for a fact that I want a life partner, but I’m still learning how to recognize one. When you have a long history with someone, it’s very, very hard to throw that away and start new. I feel like I’m done with dating – I want quality, not quantity. I want to find the person worth my best effort. The question is, did I already find him but just don’t realize it? Nothing is black-and-white. I can’t just rely on instinct because I truly want to make a sound decision, one that I won’t deeply regret in the future.

    • Fabienne says:

      Hi Dorchid:

      Thanks for stopping by. Yes, I can totally to reason #3 too. Clinging to a broken relationship because you cannot let go and are afraid of starting new is something I am familiar with. The thing I have earned with Saturn in Libra transiting my 7th house is to take things slow and see how a relationships develops and mature. In other words, give it time.
      Keep reading the rest of the series and feel free to share.

  2. Pingback: Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part II | Astrology {Unboxed} - Creative Astrology for a Life Outside the Box

  3. Beth Barany says:

    Shadow Dancing is something I hadn’t heard of. I’ll think on that. #2 Projection really stands loud for me. I find myself saying things like, “I wish he was taking charge more…” Ah! I need to take charge more. Darn! I thought I already was, but clearly, not enough! I look forward to the rest of the series!

    • Fabienne says:

      Hi Beth:

      Projections – #2 – also do resonate with me. Whenever I find myself saying “I wish…” my ears perk up. I know I am sliding down the dangerous slope of projections. I doesn’t prevent from getting frustrated but at least I know why.

    • Rebeca Eigen says:

      I’ve had a web site called http://www.shadowdance.com since 1995! I teach shadow dance workshops and some of the above post sounds exactly like articles I wrote years years ago in 1999! I’ve also never heard of Edwin Steinbrecher!

      • Fabienne Lopez says:

        Hi Rebeca:
        Wow! that’s wonderful. I did not know somebody was during workshops on shadow dancing.
        I was introduced to Edwin Steinbrecher’s concept a long time ago when I was living in Brazil. One of my friends was a fan of his “Inner Guide Meditation” book and his guided imagery techniques. As an astrologer, Steinbrecher also introduced other concepts such as alien patterns and role-reversal in women’s charts. But he is mostly known for his metaphysical work.

  4. brian says:

    Loved this article, Saturn is transiting my natal Saturn in Libra..just about conjunct..im having a huge lesson in all that is libra .. note ..also in my 7H…so im gettin wake up call behind belief in terms of ‘projections’ shadow work etc.. i had a karmic relationship blow up *thanks pluto at the start of the cardinal climax this past summer ( a scorpio woman) whom we both had mars at 1 degree libra ..so saturn hit that point and needless to say her projections of me came out to release me ..for reasons that i saw her projecting..and upon me ‘clinging’ to the most profound relationship i ve ever had ..im a taurus..i saw that well everything that i was drudging up and blaming her..was well actually me..this has been a very tough yet blossoming saturn return..needless to say..my soul set up the fact that saturn will go retrograde exactly conjunct my natal saturn 17 degree libra (also natally retrograde) so my lessons are far from over and well i wonder what ol father time has to teach me still …to be continued..but thank you so much for this post..found both series to be highly illuminating or more importanly re affirming what i feel and resonates deeply ..namaste

    • Fabienne says:

      Hi Brian:

      Thanks for sharing! I can hear your struggles. As Saturn is also currently on my 7th house of relationships, I am also earning about relationships. Like you I had an important relationship blow up. And as Saturn retrogrades and opposes my sun, I am sure I will have further lessons in relationships to learn.

  5. Pingback: Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part II » AstroDispatch.com » Astrology Around The Web

  6. Pingback: Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part III | Astrology {Unboxed} - Creative Astrology for a Life Outside the Box

  7. Pingback: Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part III » AstroDispatch.com » Astrology Around The Web

  8. Pingback: Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part IV | Astrology {Unboxed} - Creative Astrology for a Life Outside the Box

  9. Pingback: Saturn in Libra: The Dark Side of Relationships – Part IV » AstroDispatch.com » Astrology Around The Web

  10. Pingback: The 7 Most Common Relationship Problems: “I” vs.“Us” » AstroDispatch.com » Astrology Around The Web

  11. Debbie says:

    Saturn is transiting my natal Libra Sun in the 9th house. All ring true for me in some form, but feel what is up for the first time is ugly conflict in the workplace. I have to keep looking at my role. However, I also feel for the first time I am taking a stand for me. It isn’t necessarily with grace, but I am not allowing myself to be powered over. What I am looking at as why I am doing this from a place of a petulant child vs a mature adult. I also feel like my current work situation is like a bad pair of shoes. I need a change, I just can’t seem to find a pair that worrks!

    • Fabienne Lopez says:

      Hi Debbie:

      Great metaphor! You seem to be heeding Saturn’s lessons and doing the homework. The problem with Saturn is the rewards come only after the transit is over, not during! So, it is a matter of patience (a very Saturn word). Hopefully, things will get better when Saturn goes direct in mid-June.

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