©January 2011 by Fabienne Lopez
This post is the first of a 4 part series that will examine the dark side of relationships and how Saturn in Libra bringing them out in the open. We start with the concept of Shadows in relationships.
The Negative Aspects of Saturn in Libra
Astrology tells us that Saturn makes us work hard for what we want through frustration, delays, set-backs and self-denial. It also tells us that Saturn exerts the most influence and power in Libra. Libra being the natural ruler of the 7th house of relationships, it stands that until October of 2012, Saturn will be showing us what we need to work on our relationships for them to be healthy.
However, before we become better at relationships, we need to confront the negative sides of relationships.
What are the negative sides of relationships? What are the negative patterns that show up over and over in our relationships?
Four basic negatives sides:
1) Shadow Dancing (a term coined by astrologer Edwin Steinbrecher) that describes the repetitive patterns we go through in our relationships. With Saturn in Libra we tend to find/date/marry exact replicas of our shadows (the things we have decided are “not me”).
2) Projection or blaming others for the feelings we do not want to acknowledge. With Saturn in Libra, we will encounter more frequently people able to irritate us and push our buttons.
3) Clinging to failed relationships. With Saturn in Libra, many relationships that are based on false pretenses will be exposed and will most likely break-up. However, many of us will cling to those same relationships in order to avoid the fear of repeating the pain of previous relationships.
4) The Nice Girl Syndrome or how women do not put themselves first in relationships while trying to please everybody at the same time. With Saturn in Libra, we will have to take a good look at what is at the root of this behavior.
I will start with shadow dancing. We all have been there. Why do I attract only ….fill the blanks? Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes in my relationships? Why do I only fall in love with…fill the blanks?
I certainly repeated the same relationships patterns in my 20’s and if am honest with myself, in my 30’s and 40’s in some form or other. The same kind of person kept showing up as my boss, as my boyfriend no matter how many times I left the relationship or changed jobs.
I took me nearly two decades to take a close hard look at what I was doing in my relationships and why I was doing it.
Taking Responsibility for My Life
The first thing I did to break the patterns was to take responsibility for my side of the relationship. I took time, effort, but eventually I stopped blaming others and myself for the failure of those relationships. I stopped asking why this was happening to me and instead started asking myself what was I gaining by perpetuating the situation. This is when I was able to understand my feelings of anger, sadness, resentment and disappointment in regards to my past relationships.
It was and still is an uncomfortable process. After all, I am not particularly thrilled to see those nasty sides of me come to light. Now I can deal not only with these negative feelings and the guilt involved in having them, but I have learned that it is OK to express those same feelings.
That has been my first lesson from Saturn in Libra.
What about you? What have your learned from your relationships since Saturn has entered Libra?
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