3 Easy Steps to Letting Go: A Venus Retrograde in Scorpio Challenge

© October 2010 by Fabienne Lopez

venus in scorpioThis Fall and Winter, relationships will be tested as Venus transits through Scorpio from September 2010 to January 2011.

Venus in Scorpio has a reputation for being a b*tch. The perfect archetype of the temptress, the seductress, sultry, and sexy. But Venus in Scorpio goes far beyond that cliché.

Venus in that sign is looking for emotional depth within any relationship, especially romantic ones. Venus in Scorpio has an “All or Nothing” quality that demands we surrender our hearts, our desires and any deep emotion in order to merge with the “other” at all levels.

Yep, Venus in Scorpio is not for the faint of heart.

scorpio pluto singYet, sometimes, the lure of deep emotional surrender to love, intimacy, sex, power and control turns into a co-dependency situation — an addiction where establishing boundaries is seen as an obstacle in achieving that all consuming connection.

This situation does not sit well with Saturn in Libra. Saturn in Libra (one of the signs Venus rules, the other being Taurus) wants us to define boundaries, establish rules and accept responsibility in how we engage ourselves in relationships. All things that Venus in Scorpio wants us to forget about when looking to surrender.

How then can we honor both planets and both signs?

With Venus in Scorpio, we will have the opportunity for a catharsis that will allow us a deep and profound transformation out of any stagnant issues within our relationships. We will have the opportunity to let go of any extreme situation.

With Saturn in Libra, we will have the chance for introspection and contemplation of the ways we want to make changes in our personal relationships. Saturn will ask us to select the middle ground and pull back from the more extreme situations engendered by the retrograde Venus in Scorpio.

During the last time Venus went retrograde in Scorpio in 2002, I had an intense romantic attachment that was not healthy for me. I knew I had to let go of my obsession with this relationship. But sometimes letting go of my loved one seemed impossible, especially if since I have Neptune in Scorpio natal, which always sees the relationship in its most ideal form and forgets to check reality.

Letting go is a slow and difficult (but not impossible) step by step process. It takes time and requires effort. Much like building a wall, you do it a brick at a time.

Here are 3 steps I learned with Co-Dependent Anonymous that helped me let go of this negative relationship.

venus rx

Step 1) Get Away

Get away from that person for a good period of time. Avoid seeing him or her. Each time I saw my romantic interest, all my longing for him would resurface and I would start doubting my decision to break up.  And if any communication is required between you and your loved one, it should be done via phone, email, text message, letters or even third parties, just not face to face.

Step 2) Keep Busy

There is nothing worse in those situations than idle time! So I forced myself to go back to some of the hobbies and interests I had before starting the relationship. Pampering yourself is a good way to reconnect with your needs.

Step 3) Express Your Feelings

I had a very good friend whom I could call and express all my bottled up feelings. I also had a pillow to cry on and a journal where I could record my thoughts about the whole situation.

What I got out of the Venus transit at the time was a clearer understanding of my co-dependency issues and mechanisms to cope with it.

I do not know what this upcoming Venus in Scorpio with Saturn in Libra will bring me in terms of relationships. I am not expecting any new love in my life. But if it happens, I will be prepared to surrender on my own terms which are:

1)  Making sure I am not engaging in a relationship because it validates me as a person or because I feel lonely.

2)  Being clear on what my expectations are concerning the relationship

3)  Making sure I express my needs and take of  myself.

What tips do you have to share about letting go in relationships?

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Photos Credits: Flickr Creative Commons

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About Fabienne Lopez

Astrologer, Blogger, Life-Coach. My mission is to help you discover, develop and nurture your creativity no matter what transit you are going through.
This entry was posted in Astrology, Mirrors of Venus and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to 3 Easy Steps to Letting Go: A Venus Retrograde in Scorpio Challenge

  1. Gian Paul says:

    Whenever I found Venus retrograding in my experience (last time in Scorpio in fall 2002) but also in other signs “not exactly friendly to Venus” (Aries, Capricorn), my personal aspirations towards harmony get upset. Either by “the partner” or some other obstacle. This time its a complete shambles of the internet. When finally I got used to a few things working.

    But this will help the Brazilian government to continue to pride itself that the “internautas Brasileiros” (web users in this country) are statistically those who spend most time on their computers. No wonder, the web not working as it should!

    • Fabienne says:

      Hi Gian Paul:

      Thanks for taking the time to post a comment with all your internet problems. I also get frustrated by the slowness of the internet during peak times, but probably not to the extend you are.
      Generally, Venus retrogrades transits are tied around money issues for me. Having Venus retrograde natally in the 2nd house, my experience revolves around receiving money from unexpected sources or around getting refunds that are contested, delayed, etc…
      SA for the a repeat pattern from the events of 2002 when Venus last retrograded in Scorpio, I am still waiting. Will see what happens.

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