© October 2010 by Fabienne Lopez
This Fall and Winter, relationships will be tested as Venus transits through Scorpio from September 2010 to January 2011.
Venus in Scorpio has a reputation for being a b*tch. The perfect archetype of the temptress, the seductress, sultry, and sexy. But Venus in Scorpio goes far beyond that cliché.
Venus in that sign is looking for emotional depth within any relationship, especially romantic ones. Venus in Scorpio has an “All or Nothing” quality that demands we surrender our hearts, our desires and any deep emotion in order to merge with the “other” at all levels.
Yep, Venus in Scorpio is not for the faint of heart.
Yet, sometimes, the lure of deep emotional surrender to love, intimacy, sex, power and control turns into a co-dependency situation — an addiction where establishing boundaries is seen as an obstacle in achieving that all consuming connection.
This situation does not sit well with Saturn in Libra. Saturn in Libra (one of the signs Venus rules, the other being Taurus) wants us to define boundaries, establish rules and accept responsibility in how we engage ourselves in relationships. All things that Venus in Scorpio wants us to forget about when looking to surrender.
How then can we honor both planets and both signs?
With Venus in Scorpio, we will have the opportunity for a catharsis that will allow us a deep and profound transformation out of any stagnant issues within our relationships. We will have the opportunity to let go of any extreme situation.
With Saturn in Libra, we will have the chance for introspection and contemplation of the ways we want to make changes in our personal relationships. Saturn will ask us to select the middle ground and pull back from the more extreme situations engendered by the retrograde Venus in Scorpio.
During the last time Venus went retrograde in Scorpio in 2002, I had an intense romantic attachment that was not healthy for me. I knew I had to let go of my obsession with this relationship. But sometimes letting go of my loved one seemed impossible, especially if since I have Neptune in Scorpio natal, which always sees the relationship in its most ideal form and forgets to check reality.
Letting go is a slow and difficult (but not impossible) step by step process. It takes time and requires effort. Much like building a wall, you do it a brick at a time.
Here are 3 steps I learned with Co-Dependent Anonymous that helped me let go of this negative relationship.
Step 1) Get Away
Get away from that person for a good period of time. Avoid seeing him or her. Each time I saw my romantic interest, all my longing for him would resurface and I would start doubting my decision to break up. And if any communication is required between you and your loved one, it should be done via phone, email, text message, letters or even third parties, just not face to face.
Step 2) Keep Busy
There is nothing worse in those situations than idle time! So I forced myself to go back to some of the hobbies and interests I had before starting the relationship. Pampering yourself is a good way to reconnect with your needs.
Step 3) Express Your Feelings
I had a very good friend whom I could call and express all my bottled up feelings. I also had a pillow to cry on and a journal where I could record my thoughts about the whole situation.
What I got out of the Venus transit at the time was a clearer understanding of my co-dependency issues and mechanisms to cope with it.
I do not know what this upcoming Venus in Scorpio with Saturn in Libra will bring me in terms of relationships. I am not expecting any new love in my life. But if it happens, I will be prepared to surrender on my own terms which are:
1) Making sure I am not engaging in a relationship because it validates me as a person or because I feel lonely.
2) Being clear on what my expectations are concerning the relationship
3) Making sure I express my needs and take of myself.
What tips do you have to share about letting go in relationships?
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Photos Credits: Flickr Creative Commons