© September 2010 by Fabienne Lopez
Astrology is a great instrument for personal growth because it pinpoints the areas in your life where you face the biggest challenges.
But it also has its limitations: no matter how much you know about your own personal chart and its difficult aspects, you are still stuck with the question of how to deal with those challenging aspects.
So how can astrology help you establish a healthier response to those difficult aspects so you can have a more fulfilling life?
Astrology brings awareness of these negative aspects. Astrology sheds a light on the repeated patterns of self-destruction and shooting yourself in the foot. From this point of view, bliss comes not from being ignorant, but from being informed.
But is the knowledge brought by astrology actually useful in helping you deal with those aspects?
I think so.
Case in point.
In November 2009, my relationship of seven years ended. I kept asking myself if I was destined to be unloved and why love came easier to some more than others, like me.
I was very familiar with those questions. They were the expression of an emotionally conflicted astrological configuration: a T-square between Venus in Aries opposing Moon in Libra both squaring Saturn in Capricorn.
In plain English, emotional intimacy has always been extremely difficult for me.
Even though it was still a struggle to confront and overcome my emotional block, astrology helped me understand where this pattern originated. I learned that being emotionally self-sufficient was a quality my parents expected in me. My parents expected that I not rely on them for emotional support, but lend it to them instead. It was implied that I should not and could not have emotional needs.
Did astrology help me deal with this pattern?
Through astrology, I became aware of this vicious cycle — of only being interested in men unavailable emotionally. Astrology has really been an eye-opening instrument for me, helping me realize that my core belief with this configuration was: “No matter how much love you get, it’s never enough and even if you get a lot, you will always be measuring it, comparing, judging and always coming up short.”
But where I am not sure astrology is useful is in helping me make different choices.
Has the knowledge brought by astrology been the panacea?
No. Not a panacea. Is anything?
Though astrology has definitely helped me understand this most challenging aspect in my chart. Astrology has helped me become aware of it and how it shows up in my life.
The T-square aspect between Moon-Venus and Saturn has taught me that in order to have a fulfilling relationship I need to redefine what I think I want because I have noticed I am not getting it.
Astrology has indeed taught me that I need to take a different approach to my relationships. Rather than base a relationship on my need for validation as a person, I need a relationship built upon appreciation of each partner’s uniqueness.
Not the easy answer I wanted. Not the magic solution I wished for where a relationship would automatically wipe away all of the emotional hurt from my childhood.
Knowing you have to take another road is good, but until you are ready to change lanes, knowing is not going to do a lot for you.
Now, the question is “How do you become ready to change?”
I know change can happen in a split second when the pain to stay the same is greater than the pain of change. In my case, my road is to validate myself instead of waiting for a relationship to validate me.
The road to that instant is a long winding one.
One I’m willing to take, one step at a time.
With astrology, I now have a healthier, more aware relationship to relationships, starting with myself.
Photos credits: Flickr Creative Commons