©December 2009 by Fabienne Lopez
It’s the end of the year. Time for astrological yearly predictions! I must confess I am a junkie. I love and relish astrological yearly predictions. Come November, I start scanning the internet to find sites that will tell me all about what’s going to happen to Aries (my sun sign) in the coming year. My favorite site to get my forecast fix is The Horoscope Junkie. There I get to choose among dozens of sites. I am in paradise for a couple of hours.
I only wrote a yearly column once. But then, I was a young and inexperienced astrologer who did not know better. It was a lot of work to condense and abstract all the major transits for the year and to repeat the feat 12 times! Never again.
Anyway, I thought I would do a spin off and try some astrological humor.
Aries: Get ready for a big adventure! This year will be all about you! Go get your rifle, sword or whatever sharp shiny metal object you are happy with. With Jupiter and Uranus in your sign, this could be THE year for going on a hero’s journey (as opposed to all those past years) and slay that dragon!
Taurus: In 2010, you will benefit through friends both financially and emotionally. That means more money to buy those soft, plushy, luxurious things you love so much. And more money to spend on gardening tools and seeds.
Gemini: This will be the year where the newest communication device will be launched. You will be able to go, “Bladdity-blah-blah,” to your heart’s content! Better than Twitter, Facebook, Iphone, text messaging and email.
Cancer: The coming year will see the rebound of the real estate market and you will be able to afford the kitchen of your dreams, exactly like the one Mom used to cook in.
Leo: Rest assured, this Not the year were you will fall off your throne and lose your crown.
Virgo: The current stats indicate there is a fifty-fifty chance of the predictions for your sign will come true or vice-versa.
Libra: Time to get serious with that relationship. With Saturn in your sign for the next couple of years, no more weighting the pros and cons. You will have to choose between all the suitable candidates you met at the “How to Find True Love” seminar. I know they are all excellent husband material. But you know you have to make a decision.
Scorpio: Smoky eyes, 2010 will be the year were you will overcome your fear of losing control. Yeah! NO more voodoo dolls!
Sagittarius: Great opportunities will arise as soon as you realize that your happiness no longer depends so much on possessions, but rather on the deeper meaning associated with things symbolic of love and sharing. Just wait and see!
Capricorn: Yes, I know, my dear Cap! In 2009 you did not get the bonus you worked so hard for. What can I say, Wall Street, Main Street, it’s a dead end street war. Fear not! With Puto in your sign, your expense account should rebound this year and you will be able to enjoy your corporate perks again. Security is the key word for 2010.
Aquarius: Your research on the validity of astrology will finally pay off and you will be able to reform the current economic structures and improve social conventions.
Pisces: With Jupiter in your sign for part of the year, your connection with the Divine will be magnified a thousand fold. You will be able to chase more dreams, expand your compassion and complete any 12 steps program of your choice!
Disclaimer: The 2010 forecast in this post is a caricature. It is meant to provide some smiles during this time of the year which can be stressful. It is a gentle poke to all 12 signs not to take themselves so seriously.